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I can't believe it's been only 5 years since you left this world, and said goodbye.
It feels like forever, and I never got to reply. I never got a chance to say goodbye,
I never tried to make peace with your passing. I didn't want to, and I wasn't ready.
I didn't want to say goodbye, I didn't want peace with the passing of your life.
I didn't want to let you go, I didn't want to try, I didn't want to see the end of your time.
I didn't want to loose one of the few people I had, I didn't want to loose the female role model that I had. I didn't want to loose the only person who gave me hope, who gave me love, who gave me a chance. Who didn't treat me like I was last, who didn't treat me like I was bad, who didn't treat me like I wasn't like the rest. Who didn't act like I was invisible, or act like I was nothing special, or didn't act like I was a waste of time and space. Instead you treated me with such love, compassion, understanding, who believed in me, supported me, listened to me, who told me I could be anything, as along as I believed and dreamed. Who always told me to fight for what was right, who told me to love, and to always try. Who didnt tease me about my glasses, or my slow learning, who didn't push me away, when I needed someone to stay. You never pushed me aside, you always made time, you never yelled at me, just said I disappointed you, and that I was the worse thing to me. You taught me to love, to learn, to try, to help, to ask, and to try not to cry.  You taught me to cook, to ride a bike, to skate, to swim, and to garden. You raised me, more then anyone else, you knew every hair on my head, and every mole on my skin, you knew my favorite things, and you knew when I needed something. You where my everything. My hero. The one person I needed, that didn't walk away. You sang to me at night, and held me till I fell asleep, you kissed me while I dreamed, and told me great story's. You bought me my first big girl book, you bought me shorts instead of skirts, you watched me ride my bike and laughed when I was faster then the boys, you taught me how to write, with chalk on the drive way, you taught me how to grow roses, and bought me 2 to grow on my own, you took care of me. Completly. You held me when I cried, you kisses the boo boos away, you gave me silly band aids, even when there was no cuts to cover. You let me follow you around all day, cause I wanted to, I needed to cling to someone. You told me about your life, and about your history. You let me sleep in a tent in the living room, you let us eat marshmellows that we threw all over the room, you let us scream till you thought your ears would bleed, cause we would fall giggling to the floor.
You are the reason, why I am who I am today. You are the reason why I love, why I help, why I care about others, why I try to help too, why I do everything I can, and give what ever I have. Why I don't push others aside, and say goodbye, why I don't give up, on anybody.
Your the reason why I am, the person today Cause with out you, I don't know who I'd be.
Thank your for taking such good care of me, thank you for loving, believe, supporting, dreaming, wishing, and keeping me. Thank you for everything. It means the world to me.
You will never know how much, you mean to me, you will never see how much I love you, you will never relize how close I was to you. Thank you. And even though I wish you were here with me today, more then words can say, I know your in a better place. And I know that it's time, to make peace, and to say my goodbyes. Till the day, my eyes will meet yours again, in heaven. I'll see you again. I love you grandma. Goodbye for now.